Why I haven't Blogged as Promised

So, really quickly, I ran the San Francisco Marathon on July 26th. I met my time goal of 5 hours (finished in 4:53). That is an hour and three minutes faster than last year!

I had to drive myself to and from the race because the husband had left that morning for a business trip to Wisconsin for a week.

A few hours after returning home, my husband's ex-wife, who had a weekend visitation with my three stepsons, brought back only 2 boys out of 3. She told me she was keeping the third. I was so confused and tired and delirious (Jeez, I had just run a marathon!) and I couldn't believe what she was saying and that she was pulling this crud while husband was away (in retrospect, I realize this was done intentionally). I frantically ran to the filing cabinet and started looking through 12 years worth of court paperwork pertaining to the custody orders.

Shoot! There was no signed order from 8 years ago when my husband got custody of that stepson. We have orders for the other two boys, but not the third.

To make a VERY long, complicated and frustrating story short, there never was an order created from when the hubby got custody of stepson #3. The judge ruled in his favor, and the minutes from that hearing state such, but we need an order to get my son back!

Of course, I went to the courthouse the very next day and started getting the ball rolling on what we needed to do to get that order. I had hubby Fed-Ex Overnight the paperwork and immediately filed it to get an order.

That was almost 4 weeks ago. The order still has not been signed.

Meanwhile, my family is in a state of chaos because one of our members has been missing for 4 weeks. Everywhere we go, I order 6 of everything. I cook too much dinner. I cut treats into 4 pieces - one for each child - and then have one left over. And I'm not the only one. My 8-year-old woke up in the middle of the night last night crying because he misses his brother.

I have been raising this boy since he was 3 years old. He is my son. Maybe not biologically, but I potty-trained him. I got up with him in the middle of the night when he had nightmares about dinosaurs. I taught him how to ride a bike. I don't see my 3 stepsons any differently than I see my own son. They are my kids!

My husband's ex is vindictive, spiteful, irresponsible, and uses every opportunity to trash my husband and I to the boy. She tells him we don't care about him. She tells him we don't love him. She tells him that his half-brother is not his "real" brother. I miss my son every minute of every day. I can't sleep. I can't focus at work. I worry about him constantly.

I sure as heck have not had any motivation whatsoever to BLOG.

I have sent the info about the case to every person I know to try and get help. People have called and asked for the order to get signed ASAP. We have called and left messages repeatedly. My husband has waited at the courthouse for hours in a suit trying to get answers. Nothing works.

Meanwhile, the ex suddenly decided (after 11 years of not caring) that she suddenly needs all three boys by her side. She has filed for custody of all of them, plus child support. The court date is in October. I despair of getting the order signed to get #3 back before that date. And then maybe the judge will decide to just let her keep him. And then why not the other 2, just to keep the three of them together? I am SO scared.

I hate family court. I hate the staff. I hate the paperwork and the confusing forms and the fact that nobody wants to help you when you go there to get help. I hate the judge who has not signed the order.

I don't know her personally, but I hate her none the less.

I know that they get dozens of stacks of paperwork a week and that we are just a number on a piece of paper to them. But this is my child! He is being kept away from his home and his family on a legal loophole - a mere technicality - and we are helpless to do anything about it! This feeling of powerlessness is so demoralizing.

I thought the people at the courthouse were supposed to be public servants. I thought it was their job to help people. All the information they need is right there in the building. All it takes is a minute for a judge to read a form and sign it. But these people just don't care. They don't return phone calls. They will get to it when they get to it, and it is just too bad for us.

I am tempted to go to law school just so I can be more empowered in the future.

If you are still reading this, it must mean you are very bored, or a very good friend. Thank you for taking the time.

I hope to get my son back soon, and get life back to normal so I can start BLOGGING again.

Holy Huge Breakfast, Batman!

This morning I was SO hungry when I woke up, I was tempted to just grab whatever was ready to shove into my mouth. That would usually have equated to packaged cookies, muffins, or the like. But not any more! I forced myself to cook (and used up some leftovers in the process. I love that).

I didn't take a picture. I forgot because I was so hungry.

Fajita Huevos Rancheros
------------------------------------------
2 tsp. olive oil
1 red onion, sliced
1 medium zucchini, diced
1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped
1 roma tomoto, chopped
1 cup cooked Trader Joe's Brown Rice Medley
1 cup canned black beans, rinsed and drained
1 cup Chicken Fajita Chili (leftovers from 4th of July BBQ)
1 and 1/2 cups Egg Beaters
3 ounces Cabot 75% Fat Free Cheddar Cheese, shredded

Sautee the veggies in the olive oil until just softened. Set aside. Mix the chili and beans and warm in the microwave until steaming. Scramble the egg substitute in the pan from the veggies. Then assemble your breakfast in a large, shallow bowl in layers: first the rice, then the chili/bean mixture, topped with the veggie mixture and eggs. Sprinkle cheese on top. Makes 3 servings.

Couldn't calculate accurate nutrition stats because I didn't make the chili and had to guess on the points...but I guessed based on WW food listings. One serving of this is about 6 points. You can even add a small La Tortilla Factory Tortilla for 0 extra points!

I'm back!

A trip to Pennsylvania, Summer Karate Camps, and Marathon training have kept me unbelievably busy for the past several weeks. I have been still cooking healthy meals and trying new recipes and products, but just haven't gotten off my butt long enough to post any.

There are just 18 days left until the San Francisco Marathon! Last year, I struggled with the hills and motivation and cramps and finished in 5:56, a disappointing time. This year, I am MUCH stronger and MUCH faster, but still worried about hills. (Oh, yeah, and let's not forget about 40 pounds lighter, too). I am hoping to beat 5 hours, but I realize that shaving a whole hour off my previous time is a lot to ask for...so we'll see.

The SF Marathon sends out a monthly newsletter for all registered participants. This month's version included an article about tapering (reducing the mileage you run in the last 3 weeks before a marathon). You can read the article here:

http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-238-244-255-5958-0,00.html

I printed it out and brought it to karate with me last night. Reading it got me SO pumped up (and a little nervous) for the race! It has plenty of tips and tricks and also has a section at the end for tapering for shorter races.

This past Sunday, I did a 23.85 mile training run as my last long run before the start of my taper. It was quite adventurous. At mile 21.5, I stopped to help a disoriented cyclist with chest pain until paramedics arrived. At mile 23, I got chased by a dog. If any of you have ever run more than 20 miles, you know that at this point, you become emotional and aren't thinking quite clearly. The cyclist and the dog just completely drained me and I almost cried! Nothing a hot shower, a bowl of cold fruit salad and a Slurpee didn't fix, however! If you've never tried a Slurpee after a super hard workout, I highly recommend it!

Stay tuned for more marathon training posts and hopefully some yummy recipes. The pre-marathon nutrition plan is in full effect as I try to detox some of the junk out of my system!

Another contest!

Mom on the Run is giving away new Tyson heat-and-eat meat entrees! Check out their website and tell her which one you want to try to enter. Good luck to all the entrants!!

Contest over at Uncovering Food!

C.G. the Foodie has been raving about Garlic Gold on her BLOG at Uncovering Food. They make garlic-infused oils, salad dressings, and seasoning. She is having a contest where you can win a fabulous garlicky smapler as a prize. I want to win! (But good luck to everyone else who enters!) Go check it out!

Recipe: Black Bean Polenta "Pizzas" with Eggs

This breakfast has a little of everything - healthy fat, a serving of vegetables, complex carbohydrates, and protein! That means it will keep you full for a while. This is one of those weird recipes - if I put the ingredients in the WW point tracker individually, I get 4.5 points. If I add up all the stats and put it into the point finder that way, I get 7 points. I'm going with 5 personally!



--Black Bean Polenta "Pizzas" with Eggs--

-3.6 ounces (or one serving) polenta (I used Food Merchants' Organic Green Chili and Cilantro flavor, available at Whole Foods Market or Cost Plus)
-1/4 cup canned black beans, drained and rinsed
-1 very small vine-ripened tomato, diced
-1 piece Weight Watchers Reduced Fat Cheddar Cheese Snacks, shredded
-Salt and Pepper to taste
-1/8 tsp. ground cumin
-1 tsp. olive oil
-1/4 red bell pepper, diced
-1/2 small yellow onion, diced
-1/2 cup fat free egg substitute (I use the Safeway brand)
-1 Tbsp. chopped cilantro
-1 La Tortilla Factory whole-wheat, low-carb soft taco size tortilla

Slice polenta into 4 rounds. Spray a small baking sheet with nonstick cooking spray; place polenta rounds on it and bake at 350F for approximately 10 minutes, turning once. Mash black beans and tomato in a small bowl; salt and pepper to taste. Divide bean mixture evenly atop polenta rounds. Sprinkle each round with a pinch or two of cheese. Bake for 6 more minutes or until heated through and cheese is melted and bubbly.

Meanwhile, heat the olive oil in a small nonstick skillet until shimmery. Add onions; cook 2 minutes or until softened. Add bell pepper, salt and pepper to taste, and ground cumin; cook an additional 1-2 minutes or until bell pepper is just softened. Add egg substitute; cook and scramble 2-3 minutes or until firm.

Plate the polenta "pizzas" alongside eggs. Sprinkle all with chopped cilantro. Sprinkle any remaining cheese on eggs. Warm the tortilla for a few seconds and serve it alongside. (I like to make a little burrito with some of my eggs and the tortilla.)

Nutritionals: 349 calories, 10g fat, 13g fiber, 26g protein

WW Points: 7

Product Review: Raw Organic Food Bar

One of the bars that I bought to try last time I was at Whole Foods was made by the Organic Food Bar Inc. in Fullerton, California. (Their One Bar in Raspberry Muffin Crunch had been recommended by C.G. over at http://www.uncoveringfood.com/, but I didn't realize that this one was made by the same people).

The flavor I got was the RAW Organic Food bar in Fiber Chocolate Delite. It states right on the front of the label that it has 14 grams of Fiber in it! Sweet! I don't subscribe to a raw foods lifestyle, but the cute packaging, impressive nutritional stats, and words "chocolate delite" made me give it a try anyway.

I have to admit that when I opened the wrapper, I was NOT impressed with first sight of the bar. It was sticky and hard to get out of the wrapper. It was a caramel-brown color and didn't even look like it had chocolate in it. No frosting, no coated bottom, no chocolatey drizzle on top...what was I getting myself into? I was a little worried about how this bar would taste. Upon first bite, the chewy texture was interesting but the flavor didn't knock my socks off. After my second or third bite, however, I started to appreciate the non-dairy chocolate mini chips that were sprinkled throughout the bar. Halfway through the bar, I was sold! The flavor really grew on me, and the chewiness kept me from scarfing it down in two seconds (which has been known to happen with bars).

I paired this bar with a bottle of water after a workout and then went shopping. The fiber kept me full until I got home for a late lunch.

Check out the Organic Food Bar Company's web site at http://www.organicfoodbar.com/ for all of their mouth-watering flavors. They have functional bars, kids' bars, and bars with specific dietary guidelines (vegan, for example). I think I will try the chocolate cononut flavor next!

Nutritionals: 200 calories, 9g fat, 14g fiber, 3g protein

WW Points: 4